vbGore Free Online RPG Engine

I'll come back later perhpas.

Here is some advice.
1. Spell correctly please. Presant is Present, sacrafised is sacrificed.
2. Put more info about the game itself instead of the story.
3. From what i can read you probably haven't looked at the vbGore source and don't know where to begin.
4. Don't ask question thats been anwsered. Use the Search Option.

Well for now i'm looking on feed back on the story it's self befor going further with the game.





What question?

Well the story itself needs a lot more fleshing out. You have an extremely short time-line, with dates that mean absolutely nothing to anyone. What are the Deadlands? Are they an actual physical place, or maybe some sort of afterlife or whatever? What are Garia, Silmine and Zinhor? Are they planets/continents/countries/states/towns? Who are the Legion of Ramise? You throw in quite a few names with very little explanation of where they've come from and what it is they really add to the story. I would go back and take a long, hard look at your storyline.

Also, grammer is grammar, guardien is guardian. Get Firefox, it has a built in spell checker.

But anyway, seriously, go back and try and seriously flesh out each of those points you have along the time-line, then repost and hopefully you'll do better.

story sounds rather familiar. hmmm.
replace deadlands with outlands, garia with azeroth, 3 mages with 3 druids, the legion of ramise with guardians of tristfal, and zinhor with kalimdor...

What do you mean?

heh heh *cough* World of Warcraft *cough*

Never played.

Edit new story.

Vaporware is vaporous.

One word: Lolzorz.

Story well. I think its way to short and is kind of not grabbing my attention because of the line .
Note your sentences aren't very effective. Like the 1st one. It doesn't make sense.
Instead of

It will sound better like this

I'll come back later perhpas.

You better, big boy.